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BfLikesDick

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  • Number of visits : 87
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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BfLikesDick's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26371) - you deserved it (1954)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

#19042129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29697) - you deserved it (2344)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

#19026244
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23619) - you deserved it (2978)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11210) - you deserved it (50156)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67166) - you deserved it (39391)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50356) - you deserved it (4921)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

#2854895
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49324) - you deserved it (4321)

On 06/13/2009 at 10:42am - kids - by Hackmanjones (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

#2649932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11725) - you deserved it (49506)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

#2649932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11725) - you deserved it (49506)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21231) - you deserved it (69380)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14875) - you deserved it (134287)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML

#574941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62435) - you deserved it (9535)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



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