Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BestestMama

Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 10:14am) | Search for a member

BestestMama

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4732
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BestestMama : Love my baby , love my babe/bestest.
Thee end.

BestestMama's page activity

Visits<b>purplebabytacos1</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:58pm<b>KarlwithaK91</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:33am<b>BrendenTaylor</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 7:02pm<b>xSavaqee</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 6:40am<b>MiaChante</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 1:56pm<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 3:58pm<b>GunsHAWAII</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 12:58am<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 4:40pm<b>izzie321</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 2:09pm<b>LukeE45</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 2:51pm<b>Mr_Leading</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 11:32pm<b>xJAGx1505x</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 11:11am<b>erpaderp</b> - the 10/16/2011 at 8:25pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:11pm<b>cufaoil</b> - the 07/24/2011 at 8:47pm<b>deputy_g</b> - the 02/27/2011 at 7:24pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 01/22/2011 at 10:04pm<b>aardvarkish</b> - the 12/02/2010 at 7:46pm

BestestMama's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of BestestMama's badges

BestestMama's favorite FMLs

Today, I was opening a present my boyfriend got me for my 21st birthday. What I unwrapped was a Kay jewelers box. Excited, I opened it to find a ring made out of a one dollar bill. FML

Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML

#19231418
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11667) - you deserved it (40278)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML

#19227433
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11666) - you deserved it (19132)

On 03/06/2012 at 2:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

#19223342
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7615) - you deserved it (27172)

On 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm - misc - by asdfBUTT (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30140) - you deserved it (9456)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

#19204484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8550) - you deserved it (28200)

On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16953) - you deserved it (44053)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32285) - you deserved it (7774)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22007) - you deserved it (6577)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

#19144925
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10981) - you deserved it (39459)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32190) - you deserved it (6180)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32860) - you deserved it (2274)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36914) - you deserved it (2701)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

#19045802
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29146) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25478) - you deserved it (2685)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's post-Christmas debriefing
  • Thank tinselled-Christ that that's finished! Christmas 2014 is finally over. We can finally stop grumbling about the endless songs about snow, put the presents away in a closet (or a dumpster) and…

Friday 26 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: