BestestMama

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Offline (the 02/01/2016 at 8:44am)

BestestMama

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7768
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BestestMama : Love my baby , love my babe/bestest.
Thee end.

BestestMama's page activity

Visits<b>Camwentz</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:20am<b>purplebabytacos1</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:58pm<b>KarlwithaK91</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:33am<b>BrendenTaylor</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 7:02pm<b>xSavaqee</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 6:40am<b>MiaChante</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 1:56pm<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 3:58pm<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 4:40pm<b>izzie321</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 2:09pm<b>LukeE45</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 2:51pm<b>Mr_Leading</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 11:32pm<b>xJAGx1505x</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 11:11am<b>erpaderp</b> - the 10/16/2011 at 8:25pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:11pm<b>cufaoil</b> - the 07/24/2011 at 8:47pm<b>deputy_g</b> - the 02/27/2011 at 7:24pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 01/22/2011 at 10:04pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:39am

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BestestMama's favorite FMLs

Today, I was opening a present my boyfriend got me for my 21st birthday. What I unwrapped was a Kay jewelers box. Excited, I opened it to find a ring made out of a one dollar bill. FML

by AkGirl1991 / 03/11/2012 at 7:33am / United States (Alaska) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2012 at 1:29am / United States / Health

Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 2:54pm / United States / Animals

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

by asdfBUTT / 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

by argh / 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

by badmom / 02/25/2012 at 6:25am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 3:40am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Work

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

by loveinanelevator / 02/13/2012 at 7:03am / Health

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

by annon / 02/11/2012 at 1:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous