About BestestMama : Love my baby , love my babe/bestest.
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Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (185417) - you deserved it (21618)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (205806) - you deserved it (44857)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71458) - you deserved it (16799)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (5067)
On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26817) - you deserved it (4072)
On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33227) - you deserved it (6925)
On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37814) - you deserved it (6398)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was putting a new lightbulb in when my wife walks into the room and says "you can't see a thing, i'll turn the light on for you". And she did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17704) - you deserved it (1405)
On 01/11/2009 at 11:35pm - misc - by Christoams - Sent from mobile version
Today, I enjoy reading this site and other people's suffering just to feel better about my own life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17420) - you deserved it (4705)
On 01/08/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by sampaloompy - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20606) - you deserved it (2121)
On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version
Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25189) - you deserved it (2327)
On 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Black - Lebanon (Beqaa)
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37200) - you deserved it (18395)
On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Friday 24 May 2013
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