BestestMama

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Offline (the 02/01/2016 at 8:44am)

BestestMama

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7840
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BestestMama : Love my baby , love my babe/bestest.
Thee end.

BestestMama's page activity

Visits<b>Camwentz</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:20am<b>purplebabytacos1</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:58pm<b>KarlwithaK91</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:33am<b>BrendenTaylor</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 7:02pm<b>xSavaqee</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 6:40am<b>MiaChante</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 1:56pm<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 3:58pm<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 4:40pm<b>izzie321</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 2:09pm<b>LukeE45</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 2:51pm<b>Mr_Leading</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 11:32pm<b>xJAGx1505x</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 11:11am<b>erpaderp</b> - the 10/16/2011 at 8:25pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:11pm<b>cufaoil</b> - the 07/24/2011 at 8:47pm<b>deputy_g</b> - the 02/27/2011 at 7:24pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 01/22/2011 at 10:04pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:39am

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BestestMama's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 7:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML

by thepigeonsfriend / 05/07/2012 at 10:08am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

by Magicgwen / 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found that they had shaved the F word into my arm. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that this is what my friends do for fun, or that I have enough arm hair to have four letters shaved into it. FML

by HAIRY / 04/26/2012 at 4:23pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

by KC / 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

by hottygirl905 / 04/24/2012 at 7:50am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

by Jenn P / 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2012 at 10:50am / United States (Maryland) / Geek

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

by gimmeasalad / 04/21/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

by 352 / 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm / United States / Health

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

by caitlinz5 / 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.