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BestBrat's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phone at the table rule" and took my phone away until I can learn "proper table manners." FML
by grounded / 12/18/2011 at 4:59am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take two buses home from a friend's house. After waiting in the cold for the second bus for 40 minutes, it finally came and I realized that I'd left my wallet on the first bus. It took me 2 hours to walk home and I was locked out because my house key is attached to my wallet. FML
by Kayla / 12/18/2011 at 12:25am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
by kellb123 / 12/17/2011 at 7:19pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML
by Alpha / 12/17/2011 at 4:18pm / Estonia / Miscellaneous
by SuperCoolGurl / 12/17/2011 at 8:30am / Australia / Geek
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
by Anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by HR / 12/16/2011 at 4:13pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
by Oily / 12/16/2011 at 4:08am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 12:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Oja1 / 12/15/2011 at 11:26pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML
by kimboslice106 / 06/08/2011 at 1:21am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by maribel / 06/04/2011 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by brittaneejanex / 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm / United States / Animals
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
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