Bert727

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Offline (the 01/21/2015 at 8:01pm)

Bert727

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1259
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Bert727's page activity

Visits<b>AH1Zviper</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:58pm<b>raddybear</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 4:31pm<b>Kateh69</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 11:44pm

Bert727's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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Bert727's favorite FMLs

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 2:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

by Heyy / 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

by Lewis / 09/04/2010 at 7:02am / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

by ew. / 08/17/2010 at 12:28am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

by imustbegay / 05/09/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML

by Delilah / 03/01/2010 at 3:53am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Love

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my long-distance girlfriend asked me if she could see someone else on the side. FML

by cheezeits / 10/26/2009 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2009 at 10:43pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

by Co-B / 09/03/2009 at 4:59pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

by LondonKitsch / 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm / Italy (Toscana) / Health

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

by bluemonday / 04/17/2009 at 7:47am / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

by bluemonday / 04/17/2009 at 7:47am / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation