Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BenjiX

Offline (the 06/02/2015 at 11:32am) | Search for a member

BenjiX

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7351
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BenjiX : I prefer to be called Benji. And you've found my hiding place. I play bass for a band I'm trying to piece together. Don't force your religion down my throat. I don't care what people think of me, and I will laugh at you for attempting to insult me. I enjoy all kinds of music from In This Moment, Snow White's Poison Bite, Blood On The Dance Floor, and Black Veil Brides, to Beebs and Her MoneyMakers, Kesha, Katy Perry, and Carly Rae Jepsen. I love movies, Horror, War, Comedy. Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, South Park, American Dad, Family Guy, Dog With A Blog, Good Luck Charlie, Wizards Of Waverly Place, and Liv And Maddie are my favorite shows. I have about 15 different fetishes, and I have sex with pans (not literally of course.) The only things I want out of life is to play in a band, a 98 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX, a Nissan Skyline GT-R34 and to fall asleep holding someone cute. Feel free to message me if you'd like. I bite, but only if you ask :] @BenjiXBass Facebook.com/foozc

BenjiX's page activity

Visits<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 12:43am<b>beastmode4212</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 2:44pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:57pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:12pm<b>MrMoofinMan</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:37am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:59am<b>Jessifer_V</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:52am<b>BrianTheWrestler</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:52pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:52pm<b>aj9319</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:15am<b>captain_mal</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 1:48am<b>Jason89</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:57am<b>FrostyKittens</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:23am<b>ccb1992</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:46pm<b>nemosxdimples</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:14pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:28pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:32am<b>treflipmonkey</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 3:26pm

Fucked!<b>Jessifer_V</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:54am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 11:39pm<b>FMLinprocess</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:37am

BenjiX's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of BenjiX's badges

BenjiX's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58386) - you deserved it (29093)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45464) - you deserved it (5013)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

#20878614
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56270) - you deserved it (3468)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

#20877518
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22688) - you deserved it (68151)

On 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by lyfisdyno - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49726) - you deserved it (3967)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56045) - you deserved it (12584)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49553) - you deserved it (5381)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

#20871774
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45432) - you deserved it (3533)

On 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm - work - by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53095) - you deserved it (19249)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47049) - you deserved it (3233)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

#20867651
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36517) - you deserved it (2862)

On 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by swana99 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

#20863302
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40331) - you deserved it (3379)

On 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm - work - by aisbash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: