Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BenjiX

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 2:43am) | Search for a member

BenjiX

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2838
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BenjiX : I prefer to be called Benji. And you've found my hiding place. I play bass for a band I'm trying to piece together. Don't force your religion down my throat. I don't care what people think of me, and I will laugh at you for attempting to insult me. I enjoy all kinds of music from In This Moment, Snow White's Poison Bite, Blood On The Dance Floor, and Black Veil Brides, to Beebs and Her MoneyMakers, Kesha, Katy Perry, and Carly Rae Jepsen. I love movies, Horror, War, Comedy. Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, South Park, American Dad, Family Guy, Dog With A Blog, Good Luck Charlie, Wizards Of Waverly Place, and Liv And Maddie are my favorite shows. I have about 15 different fetishes, and I have sex with pans (not literally of course.) The only things I want out of life is to play in a band, a 98 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX, a Nissan Skyline GT-R34 and to fall asleep holding someone cute. Feel free to message me if you'd like. I bite, but only if you ask :] @BenjiXBass Facebook.com/foozc

BenjiX's page activity

Visits<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:50pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:40pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:11pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:36pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:20pm<b>Theghostlyisaiah</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:57pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:22pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:54pm<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:21pm<b>bkirky</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 4:11pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:54pm<b>Sweet_Visions</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 12:17pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:14am<b>nyancait</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:50am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:43am<b>blackhorizons</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:48am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:21pm<b>jessica157</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 7:53am

BenjiX's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of BenjiX's badges

BenjiX's favorite FMLs

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

#20903481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42867) - you deserved it (2866)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

#20900810
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33927) - you deserved it (4428)

On 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by Nice Melons (woman) - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61213) - you deserved it (25707)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56695) - you deserved it (36404)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

#20894470
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47006) - you deserved it (4230)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Undercooked (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

#20890231
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38320) - you deserved it (3702)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50104) - you deserved it (33795)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47688) - you deserved it (3907)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

#20888741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46386) - you deserved it (8253)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:23am - love - by hoolagirl4422 (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML

#20886598
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (10655)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:31pm - work - by Anoymous (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51152) - you deserved it (6186)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54912) - you deserved it (27593)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43596) - you deserved it (4804)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: