Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BenjiX

Search for a member

BenjiX
  • Town/Country : Mahanoy City, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 866
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BenjiX : I prefer to be called Benji, but if you think I'd like your name better, give it a shot. Everyone says I'm nice, so let's go with that. Don't force your religion down my throat and I won't point out every flaw and contradiction in it. I don't care what people think of me, and I will laugh at you for attempting to insult me. I enjoy all kinds of music from Snow White's Poison Bite, Blood On The Dance Floor, and Black Veil Brides, to Kesha, Katy Perry, and Carly Rae Jepsen. As long as its not religion music. I love movies, Horror, War, Comedy. No, I will absolutely NOT smoke weed or get drunk with you. I have about 15 different fetishes, and I have sex with pans (not literally of course.)
The only things I want out of life is to play in a band, a 98 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX and to fall asleep holding someone cute.
Feel free to message me if you'd like. I only bite in person ;p.
facebook.com/foozc :]

BenjiX's last visitors

ForeverSilent101The1stDoctorblackhorizonsusmcfieldsEverestMeltingMrGymnasticBudderchookalexmac222SevanaRatchetMomentoMoricjwayy

BenjiX's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of BenjiX's badges

BenjiX's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

#20863302
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37142) - you deserved it (3089)

On 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm - work - by aisbash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51705) - you deserved it (5348)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40235) - you deserved it (3510)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40048) - you deserved it (6667)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36653) - you deserved it (5968)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

#20858152
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35834) - you deserved it (2343)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

#20856532
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32671) - you deserved it (16848)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:13pm - health - by anditburnsburnsburns - United States (Virginia)

Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46008) - you deserved it (7630) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50590) - you deserved it (3388)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

#20852966
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43727) - you deserved it (3533)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm - kids - by pda (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48002) - you deserved it (14209)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40767) - you deserved it (9936)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50838) - you deserved it (3143)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: