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About BenjiX : I prefer to be called Benji, but if you think I'd like your name better, give it a shot. Everyone says I'm nice, so let's go with that. Don't force your religion down my throat and I won't point out every flaw and contradiction in it. I don't care what people think of me, and I will laugh at you for attempting to insult me. I enjoy all kinds of music from Snow White's Poison Bite, Blood On The Dance Floor, and Black Veil Brides, to Kesha, Katy Perry, and Carly Rae Jepsen. As long as its not religion music. I love movies, Horror, War, Comedy. No, I will absolutely NOT smoke weed or get drunk with you. I have about 15 different fetishes, and I have sex with pans (not literally of course.)
The only things I want out of life is to play in a band, a 98 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX and to fall asleep holding someone cute.
Feel free to message me if you'd like. I only bite in person ;p.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML
Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML
Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML
Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
Friday 18 April 2014