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Benji5155

Offline (the 06/07/2014 at 4:19pm) | Search for a member

Benji5155

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 43
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Benji5155's page activity

Visits<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 7:04pm

Benji5155's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Benji5155's favorite FMLs

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (8026)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22477) - you deserved it (35706)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47609) - you deserved it (4358)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30659) - you deserved it (2489)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27007) - you deserved it (2716)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42160) - you deserved it (10620)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48822) - you deserved it (7976)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8937) - you deserved it (30691)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45490) - you deserved it (1955)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11170) - you deserved it (109181)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (642673) - you deserved it (429711)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)



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