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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
50 favourites
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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (7728)
On 10/06/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by good-samaritan-fail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16430) - you deserved it (40616)
On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35128) - you deserved it (14562)
On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when a little guy walked up and flirted with her. I'm a pretty weak guy and he looked weaker, so I gave him a little push and said "Back off". He's actually not weak at all. I've got a black eye and a girlfriend who won't stop laughing to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10829) - you deserved it (32658)
On 09/27/2009 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42483) - you deserved it (2929)
On 09/27/2009 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53130) - you deserved it (2696)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39931) - you deserved it (4684)
On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34144) - you deserved it (9354)
On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States
Today, I borrowed my dad's laptop to type an essay. While I was saving it, I noticed some curious looking files and I opened them. They were rejection letters from all the colleges I had applied to. My dad had been forging them so he wouldn't have to pay for my tuition bills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64630) - you deserved it (1935)
On 08/05/2009 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8013) - you deserved it (53125)
On 07/27/2009 at 10:34am - intimacy - by condom_kid (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50735) - you deserved it (3135)
On 07/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by Sally (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42427) - you deserved it (5567)
On 07/17/2009 at 11:54am - misc - by lawliet_L (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10616) - you deserved it (40453)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:35am - animals - by tryscal - United States (California)
Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if your going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4859) - you deserved it (11295)
On 06/08/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6118) - you deserved it (59327)
On 04/17/2009 at 2:12am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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