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Bellaness

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Bellaness

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2369
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Bellaness's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

#14747577
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8390) - you deserved it (103935)

On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States

Today, I was released from jail. I had helped a three year old girl get up after falling on a wet floor at the mall last night when the security guards tasered me. Only this morning did they tell me they had mistaken me for a child molester that looks a little bit like me. FML

#14710569
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41493) - you deserved it (3095)

On 01/25/2011 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

#14669069
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27127) - you deserved it (6030)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33826) - you deserved it (7619)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

#14583340
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15637) - you deserved it (75215)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

#14371571
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26770) - you deserved it (4416)

On 12/28/2010 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by whoawhoawhoa (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112070) - you deserved it (15210)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

#14194626
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27066) - you deserved it (2730)

On 12/13/2010 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30267) - you deserved it (7674)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML

#14111441
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32828) - you deserved it (4169)

On 12/06/2010 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

#14093222
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26007) - you deserved it (8597)

On 12/05/2010 at 6:12am - intimacy - by miiiiilk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

#14087670
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42006) - you deserved it (3496)

On 12/04/2010 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11863) - you deserved it (27424)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40430) - you deserved it (5368)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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