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BellaMarta

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BellaMarta
  • Town/Country : W, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 February 1997 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 2181
  • Number of comments : 220
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About BellaMarta : I'm a teenager. 'Nuf said.

BellaMarta's last visitors

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BellaMarta's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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BellaMarta's favorite FMLs

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

#19995362
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16832) - you deserved it (887)

On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8590) - you deserved it (25472)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20516) - you deserved it (1552)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25986) - you deserved it (4863)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (7806)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23187) - you deserved it (1916)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (4605)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31085) - you deserved it (2702)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML

#19954177
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17674) - you deserved it (5571)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:41am - work - by butterball (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I used a man's shirt as a pillowcase and sprayed it with cologne so I wouldn't feel alone in the night. FML

#19954113
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20009) - you deserved it (7083)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:21am - love - by MaeMoss (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

#19946239
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17255) - you deserved it (4797)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by dogmom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38297) - you deserved it (1747)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31045) - you deserved it (36484)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

#19939315
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (4823)

On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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