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  • Town/Country : Brighton, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 April 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1574
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BecauseIAmBatman's page activity

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BecauseIAmBatman's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at a gas station, I accidentally changed the price of gas to 8.9 cents per litre. It took me fifteen minutes to figure out why everyone wanted only two or three dollars of gas. I fixed it, but now my managers are debating charging me for lost revenue. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19947) - you deserved it (6614)

On 12/12/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Ihadnoidea (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while changing the litter in the cat box, the brand new carton ripped open, spilling all twelve pounds of cat litter over my kitchen floor. Both cats promptly rushed over and began frantically urinating all over it. FML

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27938) - you deserved it (1958)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML


I agree, your life sucks (32365) - you deserved it (1543)

On 08/14/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, a week after my miscarriage, my little sister thought it appropriate to wrap her belt around her neck and scream, "Hey look, it's your baby!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (41418) - you deserved it (2466)

On 07/09/2015 at 10:38am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25824) - you deserved it (4903)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML


Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40998) - you deserved it (6125)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38982) - you deserved it (3975)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42899) - you deserved it (4981)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38857) - you deserved it (4252)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38439) - you deserved it (4688)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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