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BecauseIAmBatman's favorite FMLs
by gabimk23 / 03/23/2016 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by wellthisisbad / 02/29/2016 at 7:27am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, while working at a gas station, I accidentally changed the price of gas to 8.9 cents per litre. It took me fifteen minutes to figure out why everyone wanted only two or three dollars of gas. I fixed it, but now my managers are debating charging me for lost revenue. FML
by Ihadnoidea / 12/12/2015 at 2:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, while changing the litter in the cat box, the brand new carton ripped open, spilling all twelve pounds of cat litter over my kitchen floor. Both cats promptly rushed over and began frantically urinating all over it. FML
by misfitunfit / 11/10/2015 at 8:24pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:28am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 11:08am / Denmark / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Kids
by PupZilla / 07/02/2015 at 10:08am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML
by oh no / 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML
by PeppermintPenny / 04/06/2015 at 9:54am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML
by Sheldon76 / 02/24/2015 at 2:43pm / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML
by jessybear777 / 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML
by Soulara89 / 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by drbckflps / 12/17/2014 at 7:48pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
- Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got… Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own… Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after…