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Bebbo's FML badges
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Bebbo's favorite FMLs
Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML
by icandothecancan / 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
by anon / 06/21/2014 at 8:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Carlee_Casten / 06/17/2014 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by ifeelfat / 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
by caleighrossi / 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML
by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love
Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML
by Harry / 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML
by 404: sense not found / 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML
by unashamed / 06/05/2014 at 4:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML
by anikah / 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by wow / 05/28/2014 at 7:08pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by chevygirl51 / 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,…