About BeautifulLiesx : KCC 01.13.1998-02.28.2016
Chop C/O 2016. Music ed WVU C/O 2020.
I have two English Springer Spaniels that I love dearly, the mountains are where I feel most at home, I play the piano, and like hiking. Wanna know more? Feel free to message me.
About BeautifulLiesx : KCC 01.13.1998-02.28.2016
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BeautifulLiesx's favorite FMLs
Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML
by wellthanks / 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
by Frazz / 06/10/2013 at 1:09am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML
by purged / 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 21-year-old girlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wanted to move in with me. It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelled at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy." FML
by MonsterInLaw / 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML
by kalleylynn / 06/08/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML
by anew27 / 06/07/2013 at 1:48am / United States / Animals
Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML
by Anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm / Isle of Man / Kids
by hesgonnahateme / 06/06/2013 at 1:08am / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by The Clitshank Redemption / 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love
Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML
by Justme / 06/05/2013 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Love
by TooSunnyForSkin / 06/05/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Indiana) / Holidays
by ._. / 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML
by cupcakechick / 06/04/2013 at 4:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…