Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BeautifulLiesx

Online | Search for a member

BeautifulLiesx

23Liked!

BeautifulLiesxBeautifulLiesx
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 February 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3059
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About BeautifulLiesx : I don't like writing bios because they make me feel really narcissistic, but here goes.

I play the piano and the alto saxophone. I'm currently playing lots of Debussy and Grieg! (Grieg is my favorite composer)

My hands are really small and fragile (seriously). I injured the ligaments in both thumbs from overuse and have to wear braces (in my third picture).

I have a bucket list of books to read and enjoy doing puzzles. I also hate odd numbers with a passion.

I'm really boring, and can get really opinionated. Thanks for reading :) (and my name is Allison if that wasn't already mentioned?)

BeautifulLiesx's page activity

Visits<b>TheBeast26</b> - 3 hours ago<b>MrFloooo</b> - yesterday at 8:03pm<b>ssm04</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 7:28am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:18pm<b>mattbaker</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 11:52pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 11:06pm<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 10:29pm<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:00pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 1:28pm<b>jtthegr8</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:27pm<b>SamBeast</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:35pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 4:08pm<b>kporter26</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:32pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:44pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:27am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:33am<b>5secondsofvvifi</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:18pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:09pm

Liked!<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:18pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 10:53am<b>SamBeast</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 4:47am<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:05am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:35am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 10:59pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:31pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:12pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 7:41pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 12:57pm<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:51am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:45am<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:27am<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:39pm<b>jett0001</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:40pm<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:36pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 1:34am

BeautifulLiesx's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of BeautifulLiesx's badges

BeautifulLiesx's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56693) - you deserved it (6775)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53092) - you deserved it (9162)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65921) - you deserved it (5295)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39554) - you deserved it (5512)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36329) - you deserved it (3091)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66853) - you deserved it (4421)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML

#20740399
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29755) - you deserved it (46839)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76492) - you deserved it (17361)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69122) - you deserved it (6571)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
440 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59440) - you deserved it (37105)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69250) - you deserved it (3975)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47849) - you deserved it (3815) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40171) - you deserved it (3721)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

#20726806
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46870) - you deserved it (5966)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:41am - work - by Shitty Boss Shitty Job - United States (Iowa)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: