Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BeaterOfTheDrums

Search for a member

BeaterOfTheDrums

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1002
  • Number of comments : 344
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About BeaterOfTheDrums : I like all the regular commenters here, except the annoying ones. You know who you are.

BeaterOfTheDrums's page activity

Visits<b>caleb_9756</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:13am<b>JOEBOBARNOLD</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:56am<b>adamant84</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 2:10pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 6:23pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:05am<b>ThisIsSoOriginal</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:54am<b>ronnie_allen</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 5:15pm<b>MasonEverdeen</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:37am<b>omgpp</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:54am<b>wotfukm8</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:34am<b>topblackbird</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:30am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 7:17pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 12:34am<b>MacKieDoodle</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 11:09pm<b>megstiel</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 2:20am<b>Jazzy9999</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 7:08pm<b>dittoss</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 11:14am<b>samraae</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 6:45pm

BeaterOfTheDrums's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of BeaterOfTheDrums's badges

BeaterOfTheDrums's favorite FMLs

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20997) - you deserved it (5831)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7322) - you deserved it (32291)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wanted to freshen up my room, so I bought some Febreze. Standing on my bed, I began to spray, not noticing that the air vent directly across was turned on. The spray came directly back at me. The doctor says that the irritation in my eyes may last for several days. FML

#19084596
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10311) - you deserved it (21213)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:18am - health - by prettysmellingbedroom - United States

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

#19053808
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (5795)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:17am - love - by OwMyBalls (man) -

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

#18977119
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28941) - you deserved it (5761)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29613) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (4841)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: