Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Beansforbill

Search for a member

Beansforbill

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 17 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 322
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Beansforbill : This app is a waste of my time but it's addicting.
Oh I'm a freshman in college and I play tennis a lot.
All you need to know.

Beansforbill's page activity

Visits<b>omgbrainZ</b> - yesterday at 8:36am<b>mollykg</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:08pm<b>JoshuaIsHott</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 11:27am<b>catchmenow1</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:57pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:20pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:46pm<b>BellaMuerte666</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 3:50pm<b>_spacekid</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 1:33pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:57am<b>JAMESA12345</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:32am<b>MercyFrag</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:44pm<b>toaster012</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 10:47pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:26am<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:56am<b>mollyxrose</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 6:47am<b>IWeigh2Tons</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:19am<b>ggmu20</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:03am<b>rileyrae</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:25am

Beansforbill's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Beansforbill's badges

Beansforbill's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47652) - you deserved it (4609)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45367) - you deserved it (16123)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

#21119972
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36616) - you deserved it (4694)

On 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm - kids - by wah wah "you raised him" (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

#21093322
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36602) - you deserved it (3385)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:56am - work - by Dr.Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I came in to work early at a restaurant to help out. I stocked, baked pies for the next day, cleaned and set over 50 tables, and vacuumed the entire two stories. When I went to send an order for the first customer of mine, I realized I hadn't even clocked on. Four ½ hours of work wasted. FML

#21083869
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37698) - you deserved it (9435)

On 03/11/2014 at 9:01am - work - by IStillHaveMy8hrShiftToGo (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML

#21056453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20208) - you deserved it (37939)

On 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML

#21055497
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37227) - you deserved it (4814)

On 02/09/2014 at 4:18pm - misc - by Avomitmous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55234) - you deserved it (6326)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML

#21040870
167 comments

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59080) - you deserved it (25719)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

#21016902
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44271) - you deserved it (5165)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62391) - you deserved it (5157)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: