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BeanCuisine

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BeanCuisine
  • Town/Country : united states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 June 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 445
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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BeanCuisine's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197284) - you deserved it (31303)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML

#333787
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72806) - you deserved it (38019)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:45am - intimacy - by 12incher (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13075) - you deserved it (103013)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML

#295794
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68951) - you deserved it (5052)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

#284882
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51350) - you deserved it (26907)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

#259526
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91249) - you deserved it (5290)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:55am - work - by SalonGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

#242158
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52610) - you deserved it (3634)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by kelsey (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

#229986
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67941) - you deserved it (6553)

On 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by promdump (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

#221148
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61708) - you deserved it (3432)

On 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm - kids - by SadDad - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML

#209556
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61373) - you deserved it (2103)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by ringmaster101 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML

#206067
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56175) - you deserved it (2787)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by stupidneighbor (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a guy who I've been on five dates with called me for the first time in 2 weeks. The first thing I said was, "Don't expect me to go out with you again after going AWOL on me." Then he told me his mom died. FML

#198130
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12387) - you deserved it (58347)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time in a few months. Once she finished, she handed me the mirror and asked, "How does it feel to look human again?" FML

#194901
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42461) - you deserved it (10995)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by bluedevil26 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

#193845
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37177) - you deserved it (11001)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by tracelee - United States (California)



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