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BeanCuisine

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BeanCuisine

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1455
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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BeanCuisine's page activity

Visits<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 1:47pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 4:28pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:09pm<b>byEyecandy</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:17pm<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:04pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:38pm<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:33pm<b>colehardfact</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:04pm<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:32pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 1:49pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 7:28am<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:17pm<b>adrianh1090</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 2:33am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:52pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 11:37am<b>pufffreak</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 12:02pm<b>joawmeens</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 6:20am

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BeanCuisine's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54132) - you deserved it (3200)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51068) - you deserved it (5305)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I failed on a school presentation because I was not prepared. Apparently, the fact that my computer crapped itself and started giving off smoke last period isn't a good reason for not having my presentation prepared. FML

#20949058
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40060) - you deserved it (7756)

On 11/07/2013 at 1:42pm - misc - by pissedandcomputerless (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML

#20948987
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40580) - you deserved it (3574)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

#20948735
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51515) - you deserved it (6416)

On 11/07/2013 at 3:52am - intimacy - by thatescalatedquickly (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44947) - you deserved it (4106)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42547) - you deserved it (3854)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (52560)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43018) - you deserved it (5217)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42017) - you deserved it (7744)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

#20941188
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37440) - you deserved it (9523)

On 11/01/2013 at 8:58am - money - by brokeasajoke - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took my two and a half year-old son Trick or Treating for the first time in our new neighborhood. At the very first house, a girl told us we were too early and slammed the door in our face. My son cried. FML

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85319) - you deserved it (6103)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (3281)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

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