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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 June 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 17998
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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BeanCuisine's page activity

Visits<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 4:28pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:09pm<b>byEyecandy</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:17pm<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:04pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:38pm<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:33pm<b>colehardfact</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:04pm<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:32pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 1:49pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 7:28am<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:17pm<b>adrianh1090</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 2:33am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:52pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 11:37am<b>pufffreak</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 12:02pm<b>joawmeens</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 6:20am<b>VampOfSavannah</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 12:42am

BeanCuisine's FML badges


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BeanCuisine's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

by MarBlu / 01/23/2014 at 7:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2014 at 10:42pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2014 at 4:41pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

by AnonWife / 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire) / Health

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Love

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

by FacebookStrikesAgain / 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm / Puerto Rico / Love

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

by MM / 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm / Iceland / Miscellaneous

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my water pipes froze and burst and I now have to take snow from my back yard and boil it down into water in order to flush my toilet. FML

by Kayla_BlowPop / 01/03/2014 at 3:34am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML

by Andrew / 01/02/2014 at 6:49pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

by fuck off, dad / 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous