BeanCuisine

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BeanCuisine

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 June 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15850
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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BeanCuisine's page activity

Visits<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 1:47pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 4:28pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:09pm<b>byEyecandy</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:17pm<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:04pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:38pm<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:33pm<b>colehardfact</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:04pm<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:32pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 1:49pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 7:28am<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:17pm<b>adrianh1090</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 2:33am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:52pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 11:37am<b>pufffreak</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 12:02pm<b>joawmeens</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 6:20am

BeanCuisine's FML badges

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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BeanCuisine's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

by love you too mommy / 01/27/2014 at 2:26pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

by mac / 01/27/2014 at 9:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2014 at 12:10am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

by mom / 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my father that when my friends sleep over, it's not acceptable to sneak into my room in the middle of the night and dig through their stuff. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 3:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I went back to work after a horrible bout of respiratory illness. After a few hours of using hot tea, cough drops, and tissues to deal with my lingering cough, I found out that my asshole coworker has filed a formal complaint about me disrupting her concentration. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 2:11pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

by sally / 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:28am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

by limping / 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm / Canada / Kids

Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 10:11am / United States / Love

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy