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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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BeZe

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BeZe
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 December 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 924
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BeZe's favorite FMLs

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (38307) - you deserved it (1624)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She picked up a hundred dollars on the floor that somebody dropped. I told her, "I feel sorry for the retard who dropped the money." When I got home, I checked my purse and realized that I was missing a hundred dollars. FML

#13380942 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (6856) - you deserved it (24485)

On 10/09/2010 at 5:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (23184) - you deserved it (6761)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man pulls in and asks me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replies, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

#13326946 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (21127) - you deserved it (4221)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

#13295050 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (20478) - you deserved it (6494)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

#13217380 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (10950) - you deserved it (20500)

On 09/27/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by youaresodumb - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (31567) - you deserved it (10841)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (31797) - you deserved it (2485)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792 (273)

I agree, your life sucks (25000) - you deserved it (3392)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

#8684293 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (6033) - you deserved it (25371)

On 02/27/2010 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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