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BeYourOwnPet

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1277
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BeYourOwnPet's page activity

Visits<b>aliceanon</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:50pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:59pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:36am<b>saocrates</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:05pm<b>fistingeggplant</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:49am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:49pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:27pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 12:56am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:55pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:05pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:04am<b>angeloshaheen</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:28am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:56pm<b>pokerface71</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 5:31pm<b>lindsay42711</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:44pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 5:32pm<b>nerdtoninja</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:58pm<b>1lesslonelygurl</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:06pm

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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BeYourOwnPet's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59853) - you deserved it (4621)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

#21192088
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48067) - you deserved it (3506)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42954) - you deserved it (6129)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46095) - you deserved it (8311)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

#21189976
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39790) - you deserved it (4088)

On 06/27/2014 at 2:11am - work - by IAMALITAHA (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45432) - you deserved it (5105)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML

#21185875
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51297) - you deserved it (4333)

On 06/23/2014 at 10:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56909) - you deserved it (4377)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

#21159630
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42719) - you deserved it (11201)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:15pm - work - by ugh - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46401) - you deserved it (6407)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boss bitched me out for doing some random web browsing while waiting for some documents I needed to arrive, then went back to his desk and went on Facebook, thinking I couldn't see. FML

#21151371
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39240) - you deserved it (4884)

On 05/25/2014 at 4:54pm - work - by kalamar5 (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

#21149341
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40727) - you deserved it (4147)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

#21148769
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48184) - you deserved it (15161)

On 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54090) - you deserved it (4797)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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