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BaussauceRaptor

Offline (the 01/08/2014 at 5:48am) | Search for a member

BaussauceRaptor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 170
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BaussauceRaptor's page activity

Visits<b>Biden</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:12pm

BaussauceRaptor's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of BaussauceRaptor's badges

BaussauceRaptor's favorite FMLs

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

#21091998
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (4982)

On 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by no (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16474) - you deserved it (62491)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41122) - you deserved it (7757)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47954) - you deserved it (9548)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36882) - you deserved it (14721)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55323) - you deserved it (6333)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45033) - you deserved it (3420)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41007) - you deserved it (8326)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55963) - you deserved it (8997)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44672) - you deserved it (4346)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53361) - you deserved it (32402)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56036) - you deserved it (5631)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

#21016204
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50971) - you deserved it (5851)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45864) - you deserved it (3627)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)



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