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BaussauceRaptor

Offline (the 11/18/2014 at 12:56am) | Search for a member

BaussauceRaptor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 228
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BaussauceRaptor's page activity

Visits<b>Biden</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:12pm

BaussauceRaptor's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The rules are the rules

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See all of BaussauceRaptor's badges

BaussauceRaptor's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

#21298459
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27085) - you deserved it (5472)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by HoobidibooFox (woman) - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23904) - you deserved it (31411)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

#21091998
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35512) - you deserved it (4986)

On 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by no (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16486) - you deserved it (62564)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41184) - you deserved it (7762)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48013) - you deserved it (9558)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36931) - you deserved it (14740)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55384) - you deserved it (6339)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45081) - you deserved it (3422)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (8333)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56127) - you deserved it (9013)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44726) - you deserved it (4352)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53484) - you deserved it (32446)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56671) - you deserved it (5696)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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