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BaussauceRaptor

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BaussauceRaptor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 333
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BaussauceRaptor's page activity

Visits<b>Biden</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:12pm

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BaussauceRaptor's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11533) - you deserved it (1438)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15154) - you deserved it (1587)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my son likes to pee in the shower. He stated, "It's okay because dad pees in the sink!" I'm living with a bunch of bears. FML

#21363816
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (4096)

On 02/26/2015 at 6:24am - kids - by showerlover (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24651) - you deserved it (2694)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
110 comments

Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML

#21361049
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27672) - you deserved it (2978)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm - money - by HaliMali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing. I think I'm dating a psycho. FML

#21359722
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32063) - you deserved it (4453)

On 02/20/2015 at 8:35am - love - by FunGhoost - United States (California)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17040) - you deserved it (29214)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

#21358633
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31067) - you deserved it (2056)

On 02/18/2015 at 2:48pm - work - by breyn (woman) - United States

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

#21357563
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14423) - you deserved it (33204)

On 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

#21356659
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32633) - you deserved it (2693)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30729) - you deserved it (2917)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

#21355097
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31617) - you deserved it (2577)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm - money - by NotMacklemore - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML

#21354669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31899) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:25am - love - by Vampire Teabag - United States (Texas)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18613) - you deserved it (35288)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)



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