Bauer

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Bauer

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20671
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bauer : Oh hello. Didn't see you there. Im Bauer. You may know me from such great sites as Reddit or Sarcastic Gamer where I go by the handle "Bauer22".

I enjoy short walks on the beach (Sand sucks), reading a good novel, and watching people fail miserably at life. (Something you may have noted seeing on on this site.

Bauer's page activity

Visits<b>Aurellius</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:07pm<b>hasooon</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 8:43pm<b>FluffyNutella</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 7:35am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:41pm<b>trucker2</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 2:11am<b>darkstarrising</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:23pm<b>jasonm27</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:38am<b>Edward862</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 3:28pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:23am<b>Its_Royalx</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 11:03pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:44pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:28pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:19am<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:45am<b>amarahsohi</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:01am<b>inergon</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:04pm<b>depressed_child</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:28pm<b>Shaifhirboosh</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 11:47am

Fucked!<b>trucker2</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 8:12am<b>Its_Royalx</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 5:03am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:28am

Bauer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Bauer's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML

by skywayavenue / 03/19/2009 at 1:09am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

by twit / 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was recorded a video for my friend on her wall, I forgot to click "stop recording" and got undressed for a shower. When I got out of the shower I noticed I hadn't posted it. A few minutes later I started getting a lot of notifications. Everyone was commenting on my nude video. FML

by paige / 02/27/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Connecticut) / Geek

Today, it was really cold and windy and I started my car before work. I locked the front door of my house and shut it behind me to leave. The wind was blowing and all my hair got shut in my locked front door... with my keys in my car's ignition. FML

by wheels / 02/25/2009 at 10:09am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML

by Noname / 02/25/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

by Nick / 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

by madfather / 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

by Foxy / 02/05/2009 at 9:06am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I drove an hour in a rainstorm to go see my boyfriend. Thirty minutes and a blow job later, he tells me he's going to meet some friends for dinner in half an hour then kicks me out of his house. It's still raining. FML

by rained / 02/02/2009 at 12:44am / Hong Kong / Intimacy

Today, me and my friend are sitting here on fmylife.com while our boyfriends are out clubbing. FML

by ishweta56 / 01/17/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love