Bauer

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Bauer

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20794
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bauer : Oh hello. Didn't see you there. Im Bauer. You may know me from such great sites as Reddit or Sarcastic Gamer where I go by the handle "Bauer22".

I enjoy short walks on the beach (Sand sucks), reading a good novel, and watching people fail miserably at life. (Something you may have noted seeing on on this site.

Bauer's page activity

Visits<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 4:19pm<b>courtly25</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 8:10pm<b>Aurellius</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:07pm<b>hasooon</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 8:43pm<b>FluffyNutella</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 7:35am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:41pm<b>trucker2</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 2:11am<b>darkstarrising</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:23pm<b>jasonm27</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:38am<b>Edward862</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 3:28pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:23am<b>Its_Royalx</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 11:03pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:44pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:28pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:19am<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:45am<b>amarahsohi</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:01am<b>inergon</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:04pm

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 10:19pm<b>trucker2</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 8:12am<b>Its_Royalx</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 5:03am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:28am

Bauer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Bauer's favorite FMLs

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

by honeymoondisaster / 05/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

by Anonymousagb / 04/24/2009 at 11:18am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Animals

Today, I was about to get it on with a girl in the bathroom of my friend's house at a party. Just when things started getting heated, a pipe burst. Literally. There was water everywhere and everyone had to evacuate the building. I was cockblocked by poor plumbing. FML

by RotoRooter / 04/17/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

by tvaladie / 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

by Hikara / 04/13/2009 at 9:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

by Hikara / 04/13/2009 at 9:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

by crap / 03/26/2009 at 4:37am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Intimacy

Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML

by mrWrong / 03/24/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

by blondie / 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

by ufhdafuhds / 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Intimacy