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Batterypost

Offline (the 07/20/2014 at 11:45pm) | Search for a member

Batterypost

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 October 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 629
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Batterypost's page activity

Visits<b>Rebecca4826</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 4:50am<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:28pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:22am<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 8:39pm<b>mantisman1212</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 6:31pm<b>GemmaAnne</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:03pm<b>SnowFangedBeauty</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:28am<b>kingeyuel</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 1:46am<b>AH1Zviper</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:34pm<b>Saddyohh</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 2:21am<b>seninaa</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 1:31pm<b>aronrox96</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 1:11am<b>eclipsebladex</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 3:51pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:08pm<b>emorjkid</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:09am<b>catmom93</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 11:35pm<b>GanJwAR15</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 7:57am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 5:30am

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Batterypost's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

#21055090
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52698) - you deserved it (6889)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Tara115 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43390) - you deserved it (9321)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38488) - you deserved it (3926)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54025) - you deserved it (5999) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40834) - you deserved it (4439)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41523) - you deserved it (4544)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55949) - you deserved it (5626)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42713) - you deserved it (17412)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (111352)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43060) - you deserved it (18626) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

#20555435
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36027) - you deserved it (17471)

On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36729) - you deserved it (3308)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37696) - you deserved it (19352)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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