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Batterypost

Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 12:36am) | Search for a member

Batterypost

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 October 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1157
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Batterypost's page activity

Visits<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:20pm<b>PrincessCastiel</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:42am<b>Acid1260</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:59pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:57pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:31am<b>bryanjamieluke</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:59pm<b>Rebecca4826</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 4:50am<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:28pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:22am<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 8:39pm<b>mantisman1212</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 6:31pm<b>GemmaAnne</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:03pm<b>SnowFangedBeauty</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:28am<b>kingeyuel</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 1:46am<b>AH1Zviper</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:34pm<b>Saddyohh</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 2:21am<b>seninaa</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 1:31pm<b>aronrox96</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 1:11am

Batterypost's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Batterypost's badges

Batterypost's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48321) - you deserved it (3427)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I threw an eraser at my brother to get his attention because he couldn't hear me over his music. Being in a bad mood, he thought I was trying to aggravate his bad mood and responded by throwing a small desk cactus back. FML

#21071018
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36742) - you deserved it (13021)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:31am - misc - by ThatGuyWithFMLs (man) - Japan (Osaka)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41938) - you deserved it (3938)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50727) - you deserved it (9291)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

#21067820
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42933) - you deserved it (7663)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

#21067749
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35331) - you deserved it (16491)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by Cuntface McGee (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML

#21057082
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41466) - you deserved it (6686) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/11/2014 at 5:01am - work - by norina (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

#21055090
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53674) - you deserved it (6997)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Tara115 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44097) - you deserved it (9464)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39153) - you deserved it (4001)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55866) - you deserved it (6190) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41582) - you deserved it (4530)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42115) - you deserved it (4613)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56693) - you deserved it (5696)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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