Batterypost

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Offline (the 08/31/2015 at 3:38pm)

Batterypost

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 October 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2657
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Batterypost's page activity

Visits<b>decladon007</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 8:13am<b>Brian2911</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 8:56pm<b>columbusthecat</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 8:05pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 12:57pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:56am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 12:39am<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:20pm<b>PrincessCastiel</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:42am<b>Acid1260</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:59pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:57pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:31am<b>bryanjamieluke</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:59pm<b>Rebecca4826</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 4:50am<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:28pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:22am<b>91hayek</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 8:39pm<b>mantisman1212</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 6:31pm<b>GemmaAnne</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:03pm

Fucked!<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:57pm

Batterypost's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Batterypost's badges

Batterypost's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

by HelpMe / 02/25/2014 at 4:59am / United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The) / Animals

Today, I threw an eraser at my brother to get his attention because he couldn't hear me over his music. Being in a bad mood, he thought I was trying to aggravate his bad mood and responded by throwing a small desk cactus back. FML

by ThatGuyWithFMLs / 02/25/2014 at 4:31am / Japan (Osaka) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

by Sexy Rash / 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

by Cuntface McGee / 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML

by norina / 02/11/2014 at 5:01am / Work

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

by Tara115 / 02/09/2014 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

by mariana / 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

by TwistedCherub1 / 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm / United States / Work

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous