BassTurdo

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Offline (the 01/03/2015 at 11:00pm)

BassTurdo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 June 1935 (81 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1839
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About BassTurdo : I have worldly possession of all the feminines

BassTurdo's page activity

Visits<b>EpicDocHoliday</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 2:38am<b>alexwagner21</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 9:04pm<b>nopenopenopeneva</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 7:05pm<b>cummeariver</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:30pm<b>seetei</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 3:01pm<b>beckamoosee</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 12:39pm<b>HunkyMumbles</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:46am<b>kristyB1664</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:48pm<b>SemiAutonomic</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:46pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:59pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 8:46pm<b>angeljade1234</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:47pm<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:19pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:22am<b>CaseyOfAsgard</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 7:47pm<b>TheEpicWario</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 5:29pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:47am<b>omgwthilu</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:50pm

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BassTurdo's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

by blackchin III / 06/20/2014 at 5:00pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Health

Today, we went to the wedding of one of my friends. As she was about to throw her bouquet, my boyfriend muttered that if I tried to catch it, we'd be through. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 3:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

by orangemango / 04/22/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

by shoopbadeewoop / 03/08/2014 at 4:43pm / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

by chuchundra / 03/08/2014 at 3:06pm / United States / Animals

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML

by lord kuntface / 08/22/2013 at 5:33pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML

by momma / 08/16/2013 at 11:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:33am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

by fuuuuuh / 07/20/2012 at 1:47am / United States (California) / Health