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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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BassGirl

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BassGirl
  • Town/Country : Long Island, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 October 1983 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 308
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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BassGirl's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (21736) - you deserved it (3398)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (4114)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902 (410)

I agree, your life sucks (13074) - you deserved it (51200)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253 (272)

I agree, your life sucks (17411) - you deserved it (2049)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (13472) - you deserved it (2226)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while jogging, I realized my face jiggles more than my breasts. FML

#18180881 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (8308) - you deserved it (1938)

On 11/07/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Janice - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. His response? "It's not like I liked it." FML

#18180639 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (10981) - you deserved it (1054)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by Cat - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

#18165328 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (8088) - you deserved it (2360)

On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (18417) - you deserved it (31658)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

#18109383 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (10438) - you deserved it (2481)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (27580) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

#18049596 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9456) - you deserved it (1956)

On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351 (346)

I agree, your life sucks (9695) - you deserved it (1821)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (22177) - you deserved it (1587)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (18232) - you deserved it (2103)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)