About Baseballer23711 : I play sports
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Baseballer23711's favorite FMLs
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
by fuck you, kid / 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm / Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy
by Kasey Eames / 12/23/2012 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML
by snakeboy / 08/24/2009 at 12:49am / Australia (South Australia) / Transportation
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