BarryMacockiner

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Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 2:07pm)

BarryMacockiner

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7225
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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BarryMacockiner's FML badges

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Consolation prize

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50 favourites

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BarryMacockiner's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

by Christian / 09/28/2013 at 11:21am / United States / Love

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:08am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my insane war veteran great-uncle punched me in the throat for not laughing hard enough at his stupid joke. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

by ;_;" / 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Work

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML

by propose_you_freakin_coward / 09/27/2013 at 8:51am / Singapore / Love

Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML

by ihatethisjob / 09/27/2013 at 4:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

by drinkdrankdrunk / 09/27/2013 at 3:33am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

by horriblefashionsense / 09/26/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

by CancerFdMyLife / 09/26/2013 at 9:50am / United States (District of Columbia) / Health

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I bought some really expensive face wipes that were supposed to cure my awful acne. I was excited to use them until I found out my mom had used them all wiping down her car. FML

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous