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BarryMacockiner

Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 2:07pm) | Search for a member

BarryMacockiner

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  • Number of visits : 4084
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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BarryMacockiner's favorite FMLs

TODAY I HAD SEX WITH MAH BOYFRIEND FOR THE FIRST TIME. IT WAS ALSO THE FIRST TIME HE'D EVER HAD SEX. HOW COULD I TELL? HE CRIED ALL THE WAY THROUGH AN CALLED HIS PARENTS RIGHT AFTER. MEGA FML

#20974515
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58250) - you deserved it (6346)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

TADAY I WAS CLEANING A POCKETKNIFE WEN I NOTICED A SPIDER ON MA LEG. MY FRST REACTION WAS TO STAB IT. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40856) - you deserved it (41472)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today , I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of mah foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around , wondering wat mah life would've been like if mah parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven , long-lost ghostly foreskin? mega FML

#20972170
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31168) - you deserved it (14771)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

I SAW A PSYCHIATRIST FOR THE FRST TIME. AFTER TELLING HER EVERYTHING I'M GOING THROUGH, SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID "YOU KNOW... EVERY FIVE YEARS OR SO I GET A CASE COMPLETELY BEYOND ABILITY TO HELP." I GUESS IT'S BEEN FIVE YEARS. FML

#20963305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45635) - you deserved it (2988)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

TADAY I TURNED 30. WHILE ALL MY FRIEND R GETTING MARRIED, FURTHERING CAREER AND HAVING CHILDREN, I'M STILL SAT AROUND BIENG AS IMMATURE AS I WAS AS A TEENAGER. I'M GOING THROUGH A CLASSIC CASE OF PREMATURE AGE-JACULATION. I LAUGHED FOR 10 MINUTE AFTER COMING UP WITH THAT. FML

Taday ma boyfriend of tree yeres sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent im maybe a tousand texts saying "Wy?", "Wat do you mean?!" After an our of crying and watnot, I realized e ad driver's education today and tat e was saying te class was over. FML

#20959504
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30356) - you deserved it (45463)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a party wit a few of my friends . We saw a guy walking around wit brigt pink lipstick all over is mout, so we made a bet to seeo could matc te lipstick to te grl frst . I won . It was my grlfriend's . FML

#20953788
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55548) - you deserved it (4068)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was mantioning to a coworkar how thara was a huga lull today in businass . A young coworkar than turns to ma and says in a snooty tona, "I think you maan a 'lol', it's pronouncad L-O-L." maga FML

#20953649
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42762) - you deserved it (2826)

On 11/11/2013 at 5:36am - work - by shut up. - New Zealand

Today, I walkad into mah dorm room, only to witnass mah roommata shaving har vag ovar mah trashcan. FML

#20950523
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49799) - you deserved it (4075)

On 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by JN5SLK (woman) - United States (Utah)

YASTARDAY , WHILA TAACHING JUNIORS ABOUT BLACK HOLAS , I SAID , "IMAGINA AVARYTHING BAING SUCKAD INTO A BLACK HOLA." AN AFRICAN-AMARICAN STUDANT SHOUTAD , "I'D BATTAR START CLANCHING!" NOBODY TOOK THA LASSON SARIOUSLY AFTAR THAT. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44420) - you deserved it (5391)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

TODAY, I WOKE UP LATE AND HAD TO RUSH TO CATCH BUS. UPON ARRIVING AT SCHOOL, I WAS HOT FROM RUNNING AND TOOK OFF SWEATER. IT WAS THEN, IN A LECTURE HALL WITH 400 PEOPLE, THAT I REALISED I HADN'T PUTTED A SHIRT ON UNDERNEATH. FML

#20945220
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45986) - you deserved it (10240)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after being forced to take mah little sister trick-or-treating, we had the cops called on us twice. She thought it would be funny to tell all the people giving out candy that I'd been following her around and that she had no idea who I was, and that she was scared of me. FML

Today , I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table an make it look like an accident. mega FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48104) - you deserved it (3203)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, a radio show asked the question, ( Where does the dentist live in Finding Nemo? ) I called in and got through. When he asked me the question, instead of the actual answer I quickly gave out mah own address over live radio. FML

#20939023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36714) - you deserved it (17443)

On 10/30/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today... I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friend that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52454) - you deserved it (9220)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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