Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Barriaultcory

Search for a member

Barriaultcory

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2971
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Barriaultcory : Say hi I'm friendly and love meeting new people!

Barriaultcory's page activity

Visits<b>sophielock</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 3:25am<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:41pm<b>odod777</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:49am<b>farleytb42</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:33pm<b>urbantrashcan</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 10:21am<b>lulumoongirl</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 9:30am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:12am<b>FloridaGuy</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 7:48am<b>hannahbanana1031</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:57am<b>ohgeejosee</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 11:23pm<b>ilovemychem</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 7:45pm<b>skellingtonfart</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:28pm<b>ivef2</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 9:06am<b>IM_JOSHUA</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 7:21am<b>kkmp</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:00pm<b>paige146622</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:43pm<b>kameron018</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 9:34am<b>BiIly_G</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:21pm

Barriaultcory's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Barriaultcory's badges

Barriaultcory's favorite FMLs

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49640) - you deserved it (2837)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47463) - you deserved it (5885)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51487) - you deserved it (3669)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58627) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58595) - you deserved it (22866)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML

#20740399
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29667) - you deserved it (46717)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25469) - you deserved it (64071) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68864) - you deserved it (6556)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40265) - you deserved it (2838)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41238) - you deserved it (4605)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

#20738647
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46073) - you deserved it (4419)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

#20738117
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37815) - you deserved it (6580)

On 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm - health - by Ouch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

#20737057
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (2549)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by whoriblemomindeed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68953) - you deserved it (3955)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

#20731175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41524) - you deserved it (13613)

On 06/17/2013 at 9:55am - health - by nomwar (woman) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: