Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Barriaultcory

Search for a member

Barriaultcory

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2949
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Barriaultcory : Say hi I'm friendly and love meeting new people!

Barriaultcory's page activity

Visits<b>sophielock</b> - 21 hours ago<b>abbythemuffin</b> - yesterday at 1:41pm<b>odod777</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:49am<b>farleytb42</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:33pm<b>urbantrashcan</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 10:21am<b>lulumoongirl</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 9:30am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:12am<b>FloridaGuy</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 7:48am<b>hannahbanana1031</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:57am<b>ohgeejosee</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 11:23pm<b>ilovemychem</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 7:45pm<b>skellingtonfart</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:28pm<b>ivef2</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 9:06am<b>IM_JOSHUA</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 7:21am<b>kkmp</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:00pm<b>paige146622</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:43pm<b>kameron018</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 9:34am<b>BiIly_G</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:21pm

Barriaultcory's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Barriaultcory's badges

Barriaultcory's favorite FMLs

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

#20841179
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41965) - you deserved it (8158)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by Suprise - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML

#20837323
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43426) - you deserved it (5447)

On 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm - animals - by Nanana32 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet for hours after eating some questionable seafood. During this time, I watched through the open door as my dog destroyed the nice shoes I just bought, as well as the tux I rented for my sister's wedding. The wedding is in 12 hours. FML

#20833678
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42287) - you deserved it (6975)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:09pm - health - by notmansbestfriend (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend only has sex with me to get me to shut up. FML

#20827840
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44546) - you deserved it (19071)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by blissful oblivion (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56460) - you deserved it (15912)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony, he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew and broke his arm. FML

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

#20822120
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51341) - you deserved it (14547)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

#20820605
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48021) - you deserved it (3484)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm - work - by x_o (man) - Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron)

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

#20819772
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41850) - you deserved it (18239)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Anon - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60779) - you deserved it (5967)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40629) - you deserved it (20280)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67370) - you deserved it (5813)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49087) - you deserved it (5456)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51319) - you deserved it (11685)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: