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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40401) - you deserved it (2018)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31049) - you deserved it (9595)
On 06/17/2013 at 9:55am - health - by nomwar (woman) - United States
Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29340) - you deserved it (2223)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:58pm - kids - by Married2handsome - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML
I agree, your life sucks (28579) - you deserved it (3319)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:48pm - love - by kiss98367 (woman) - United States
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30679) - you deserved it (2550)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66860) - you deserved it (8684)
On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40194) - you deserved it (2351)
On 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm - work - by heyyoitsapotato - United States
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38498) - you deserved it (7301)
On 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm - love - by Terminator101101 - United States (Nevada)
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40394) - you deserved it (7837)
On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)
Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51647) - you deserved it (10595)
On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (47240)
On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)
Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20921) - you deserved it (107173)
On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55661) - you deserved it (11978)
On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41253) - you deserved it (3446)
On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45936) - you deserved it (20991)
On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Monday 17 June 2013
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