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About Baroness542 : Hey there.
My name's Shannon. I'm from Wisconsin.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3059) - you deserved it (5245)
On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6520) - you deserved it (544)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8120) - you deserved it (1231)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7163) - you deserved it (1439) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -
Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "F*ck you, f*cking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4372) - you deserved it (8009)
On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9865) - you deserved it (21767)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20807) - you deserved it (6387)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7069) - you deserved it (541)
On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2735) - you deserved it (7260)
Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6924) - you deserved it (1162)
On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)
Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20790) - you deserved it (1395)
On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17022) - you deserved it (3425)
On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20492) - you deserved it (2786)
On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8979) - you deserved it (2855)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Sam - United States
Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8145) - you deserved it (1011)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)
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