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Banwan

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Banwan

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1478
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Banwan's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:21pm<b>WtfLoser</b> - the 12/26/2010 at 10:48am

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Banwan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (3345)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31634) - you deserved it (28365)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8436) - you deserved it (38167)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10050) - you deserved it (37577)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62172) - you deserved it (3070)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8112) - you deserved it (57032)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13895) - you deserved it (34966)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

#5990692
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11663) - you deserved it (68231)

On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87629) - you deserved it (14646)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32905) - you deserved it (7368)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51837) - you deserved it (3224)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84669) - you deserved it (7375)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75793) - you deserved it (6559)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

#4223881
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49326) - you deserved it (9393)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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