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Banwan

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Banwan
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 779
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Banwan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28530) - you deserved it (8921)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43315) - you deserved it (7596)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35007) - you deserved it (4877)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML

#16879912
549 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58951) - you deserved it (6154)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:56am - intimacy - by footfood (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38108) - you deserved it (14895)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17803) - you deserved it (36494)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27514) - you deserved it (6169)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32927) - you deserved it (21125) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I asked my boyfriend if my ass looked big in my new jeans. He looked, and then started singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie". FML

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

#14463495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31795) - you deserved it (6153)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML

#14310097
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42187) - you deserved it (5135)

On 12/23/2010 at 11:13am - misc - by unfortunategeek - United Kingdom

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9248) - you deserved it (63940)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9248) - you deserved it (63940)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9248) - you deserved it (63940)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (7644)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)



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