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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22975) - you deserved it (7192)
On 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by cameltoeyourface (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27295) - you deserved it (2314)
On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20637) - you deserved it (7682)
On 07/25/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by animelover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (3976)
On 07/25/2010 at 7:09am - intimacy - by girlgirlinsanity (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33355) - you deserved it (14883)
On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13548) - you deserved it (52566)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (5531)
On 07/24/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by luvlessbootycall (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7908) - you deserved it (23675)
On 07/24/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by tstaeger (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9425) - you deserved it (30747)
On 07/22/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by Nic (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23692) - you deserved it (3557)
On 07/22/2010 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20678) - you deserved it (37524)
On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)
Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9735) - you deserved it (53313)
On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36119) - you deserved it (3246)
On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (8454)
On 07/20/2010 at 4:15am - intimacy - by Ugh... - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had the rehearsal for two of my friends' wedding. My ex-husband is also in the wedding, and I just found out we have to walk down the aisle together 'for height reasons'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28304) - you deserved it (2590)
On 07/20/2010 at 12:57am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
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