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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19616) - you deserved it (27028)
On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States
Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30276) - you deserved it (2424)
On 08/05/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Tired (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34359) - you deserved it (2990)
On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend woke up to the flash of a camera. It was his mother taking pictures of my shoe print on his window sill and night stand. She said she was collecting evidence proving I snuck in through his window last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17139) - you deserved it (7686)
On 08/05/2010 at 12:38am - misc - by AmNot (woman) - United States
Today, some jerk super glued leaves and a note onto my car's front windshield. Not only is it directly in front of the driver's seat and makes it nearly impossible to drive, but it won't come off. What makes it worse? I was spending the night at a friend's house and the note was meant for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21036) - you deserved it (1566)
On 08/04/2010 at 9:13pm - misc - by Mustang (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24791) - you deserved it (24647)
On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19946) - you deserved it (1560)
On 08/04/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by Amandajean32 - United States
Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25389) - you deserved it (3402)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:14pm - misc - by drfeelgood93 - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for fun. I can't get her to shut up and my little niece and nephew are coming over in three days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (3764)
On 08/04/2010 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by stuckonrepeat (man) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26996) - you deserved it (2671)
On 08/04/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by LaRae17 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31613) - you deserved it (7954)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34672) - you deserved it (5642)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32233) - you deserved it (2772)
On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34110) - you deserved it (426)
On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4616) - you deserved it (35403)
On 08/03/2010 at 9:19pm - misc - by bitch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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