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Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5594) - you deserved it (26635)
On 08/15/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposed to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decided to chuck it at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24465) - you deserved it (2656)
On 08/15/2010 at 12:39am - work - by ouch (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (1829)
On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you deserved it (6178)
On 08/14/2010 at 4:41pm - love - by irresponsible (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend and I made lists of what celebrities we're interested in. The first one she listed wasn't a celebrity - it was my brother. He's spending the weekend with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24465) - you deserved it (2660)
On 08/14/2010 at 1:37pm - love - by Chad - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I baby sit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29816) - you deserved it (6856)
On 08/13/2010 at 12:14pm - kids - by qtpieo1 - United States (Ohio)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to hack my Facebook and "like" everybody's statuses. This includes my boyfriend's about his grandmother dying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30997) - you deserved it (5096)
On 08/13/2010 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my husband of 3 years, who I have a 1 year old daughter with, told me he wants a divorce, but who knows, maybe in the future we can "date." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (2199)
On 08/13/2010 at 5:11am - love - by starley (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went on a blind date for coffee. He was smart, good looking, and friendly. While we were talking about our respective families it became abundantly clear that I have heard these stories before. I realized that 6 months earlier I had been dumped by his brother after sleeping with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13262) - you deserved it (20834)
On 08/13/2010 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Proudlyintp (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20118) - you deserved it (2241)
On 08/12/2010 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23633) - you deserved it (24986)
On 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm - intimacy - by Blueberrypicc (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was installing TVs in a hospital. When I knocked on a door, a female voice asked me to come in. I opened the door to see an 80 year old woman standing in front of me, naked. She then complained when I hesitated to help her to put some clothes on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19477) - you deserved it (1655)
On 08/12/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6410) - you deserved it (33950)
On 08/12/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by Jason (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15800) - you deserved it (21897)
On 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37533) - you deserved it (2916)
On 08/12/2010 at 8:02am - intimacy - by ScarredEars - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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