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Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20951) - you deserved it (9847)
On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - intimacy - by Buzzie (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was in the airport after saying goodbye to my boyfriend who left for three months. Walking back to my car, I saw a young couple kissing passionately. If that wasn't bad enough, the guy then picked his girlfriend up, spun her round in the air and her foot kicked me square in the jaw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29776) - you deserved it (2782)
On 09/01/2010 at 9:50am - love - by ouch (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30285) - you deserved it (2907)
On 09/01/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Jill Shanks - United States
Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49511) - you deserved it (3102)
On 08/31/2010 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by ashlee (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31686) - you deserved it (5916)
On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36291) - you deserved it (1763)
On 08/31/2010 at 3:54am - misc - by missyoudad. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31225) - you deserved it (5991)
On 08/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (8369)
On 08/30/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Shelby (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33899) - you deserved it (13451)
On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend was talking with his friends about how long girls take to get ready (hair, make-up, etc.). I said, "I never spend a long time getting ready..." He then looked at me and said, "maybe you should." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24484) - you deserved it (6336)
On 08/29/2010 at 10:14am - love - by ILoveFML - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (10622)
On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28735) - you deserved it (19871)
On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets the same amount of entertainment out of tickling me and having sex with me, and he likes the tickling noises better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19394) - you deserved it (5173)
On 08/28/2010 at 1:49am - intimacy - by JessykaB - United States
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34275) - you deserved it (3324)
On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9166) - you deserved it (22413)
On 08/27/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 17 June 2013
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