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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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BamxBitch

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BamxBitch
  • Town/Country : Sioux City, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 February 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 7598
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BamxBitch : Today, I realized I am addicted to this site and got an account. FML

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BamxBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

#4299619 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (33486) - you deserved it (56075)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (91774) - you deserved it (7456)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

#1745966 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (63471) - you deserved it (2591)

On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, i have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML

#673025 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (44040) - you deserved it (7355)

On 03/29/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML

#672131 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (45600) - you deserved it (18280)

On 03/28/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by Betsydoll (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

#664104 (329)

I agree, your life sucks (277033) - you deserved it (15279)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (129969) - you deserved it (18461)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as things were heating up, my closet door flew open and my little brother ran out screaming, "Mom, they're doing it, come quick!" My mom paid my 9 year old brother to spy on me. FML

#309354 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (100705) - you deserved it (11938)

On 03/13/2009 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by evanescence (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

#280083 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (106223) - you deserved it (10351)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363077) - you deserved it (401425)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

#226342 (993)

I agree, your life sucks (284944) - you deserved it (55483)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (154966) - you deserved it (19181)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (95914) - you deserved it (16564)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

#14097 (422)

I agree, your life sucks (372719) - you deserved it (33238)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340 (929)

I agree, your life sucks (419966) - you deserved it (30696)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)