Ballie_1990

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Ballie_1990

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 569
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ballie_1990's page activity

Visits<b>memowgirl</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 3:01pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 7:40pm<b>jordanhraye</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 5:25pm<b>rockne93</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 10:46am<b>liloso60</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 2:57pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:56pm<b>kamar50</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 8:57am<b>The_Tenth_Doctor</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 6:54pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 11:04pm<b>um_cati</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 2:46pm

Ballie_1990's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Ballie_1990's badges

Ballie_1990's favorite FMLs

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

by notakeeper / 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

by confsused / 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

by mistletoe / 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

by goingtothegym / 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

by ashsaunde / 12/08/2013 at 1:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

by mystery / 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

by feiedbutter / 12/07/2013 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy

Today, I received an unexpected package from my mother. It contained my cat's ashes. Apparently he died 3 weeks ago and she thought this was the best way to tell me. FML

by Cat Ashes / 12/05/2013 at 12:18am / United States (Michigan) / Animals