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Baikal's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Baikal's favorite FMLs
by Taylor Easley / 03/17/2012 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Needsanewjob / 01/10/2012 at 10:34am / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm / Australia / Health
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 8:03am / Israel / Miscellaneous
by rastafarimon / 04/17/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 10:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML
by sandra22 / 01/22/2011 at 3:49am / Miscellaneous
Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 12:29am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML
by ash / 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I had two 100's and two singles in my wallet. The two 100's was for my electric bill and the two singles were for the bus. Once I got off the bus and to the electric company, I noticed only my singles were there. Turns out I paid the bus driver $200. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 12:37am / United States (New Jersey) / Money
by FoxyManicLiar / 09/27/2010 at 5:06pm / Work
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
by tikizombie / 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML
by sickofsick / 12/29/2009 at 10:11pm / United States / Health