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Baikal's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Baikal's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML
by purebliss / 12/05/2013 at 7:43pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML
by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by kittyboo_is_me / 11/19/2013 at 1:59am / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals
by Argh / 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Miscellaneous
by StrandedWhale / 11/03/2013 at 2:21am / United Kingdom / Love
by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals
by erockinthesuburb / 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by BarryShitpeas / 09/19/2013 at 11:18am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Health
Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML
by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work
by -.- / 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was getting frisky with my girlfriend. It was going well until we had to put our clothes… Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…