Baconman345

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Baconman345

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 November 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12205
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Baconman345 : I'm a pretty random guy sometimes...I love hockey. Going to Boston College. Enough said

Baconman345's page activity

Visits<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:21pm<b>Fgjvshnb</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:16am<b>hoppy5312</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 7:24pm<b>raven83</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 10:07am<b>justinccp</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:40am<b>NandaPanda</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 6:45pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 4:33pm<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 10:18pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:27pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 12:57am<b>dm22</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 4:57pm<b>amaranth22</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 9:41pm<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 5:44pm<b>TheGreatCat</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 4:18pm<b>UnicornFarts</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 3:55pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:55pm<b>SeaMonkey87</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:53pm<b>lissa_jade</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:02pm

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Baconman345's favorite FMLs

Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML

by Life of the party / 08/19/2009 at 1:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

by ohgod / 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I read an incoming message on my wife's phone. "I miss your warm hands and mouth". The message came from a female co-worker of hers. FML

by rick / 08/13/2009 at 5:49pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, I rented a car that has a smart key. The proximity of the key determines if the doors will unlock. I went to a meeting and returned to the car with the trunk popped open and all my luggage gone. The rental company decided to store a spare key in the glovebox for safe keeping. FML

by NoKeyNoCar / 08/13/2009 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML

by Screwupify / 08/06/2009 at 11:05am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML

by Screwupify / 08/06/2009 at 11:05am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

by Cowan / 08/06/2009 at 8:27am / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I received a $250 ticket when I parked my car, that has the disabled placard, in a handicapped spot at a Wal-Mart. The officer said she watched me get out of the car and walk to store without appearing to be disabled. I'm 59 years old, have a steel rod in my spine and a prosthetic hip. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 10:34pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML

by kmb04 / 08/02/2009 at 11:12am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my mum deleted my college research assignment on rape because the subject was too vulgar. I had worked on it for the past month and it was worth 50% of my grade. It's due tomorrow. FML

by mandy / 07/31/2009 at 9:51pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

by FGum / 07/30/2009 at 1:56am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after four years of anorexia and lots of recovery, my parents took me out to dinner with my counselor and whole family to celebrate my progress. I ended up eating something that made me vomit everything I ate. My parents now think I am bulmic and are sending me back to counseling. FML

by nothungry / 07/28/2009 at 8:47pm / United States (Ohio) / Health