Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Baconman345

Search for a member

Baconman345
  • Town/Country : U.S.A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 November 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1535
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Baconman345 : I'm a pretty random guy sometimes...I love hockey. Going to Boston College. Enough said

Baconman345's last visitors

NandaPandaalexmac222ohishkabibbleamaranth22TheBrochureTheGreatCatUnicornFartsTrollxSeaMonkey87

Baconman345's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of Baconman345's badges

Baconman345's favorite FMLs

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

#10842466
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23509) - you deserved it (8089)

On 05/29/2010 at 2:20pm - health - by asstomouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

#10668547
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35242) - you deserved it (7458)

On 05/21/2010 at 1:26pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? He said his mom didn't want us together anymore. His mom died three years ago. FML

#10594488
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30825) - you deserved it (2699)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Babygirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37248) - you deserved it (8007)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML

#8915112
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6325) - you deserved it (28618)

On 03/08/2010 at 7:08am - money - by prian (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15392) - you deserved it (1818)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

#8883543
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7420) - you deserved it (31830)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:41am - health - by fatlady - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

#8819717
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14084) - you deserved it (4040)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year old girl." FML

#8781729
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21175) - you deserved it (1901)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JackG - United States (Montana)

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

#8779479
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21950) - you deserved it (2583)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8157) - you deserved it (33813)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

#8687121
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23360) - you deserved it (1821)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:07am - work - by Anon - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to yell out "Pass us the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML

#8658018
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21133) - you deserved it (5385)

On 02/26/2010 at 3:30am - misc - by UnfortunateGirly (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML

#8643603
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24294) - you deserved it (6231)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by ryan and Zack - United States (Michigan)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: