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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 November 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12681
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Baconman345 : I'm a pretty random guy sometimes...I love hockey. Going to Boston College. Enough said

Baconman345's page activity

Visits<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:21pm<b>Fgjvshnb</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:16am<b>hoppy5312</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 7:24pm<b>raven83</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 10:07am<b>justinccp</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:40am<b>NandaPanda</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 6:45pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 4:33pm<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 10:18pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:27pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 12:57am<b>dm22</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 4:57pm<b>amaranth22</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 9:41pm<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 5:44pm<b>TheGreatCat</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 4:18pm<b>UnicornFarts</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 3:55pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:55pm<b>SeaMonkey87</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:53pm<b>lissa_jade</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:02pm

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Baconman345's favorite FMLs

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

by QWERTY / 04/03/2011 at 7:20pm / Animals

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

by JJMan217 / 03/29/2011 at 2:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

by FailedSniper / 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

by Abby_gummibear / 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

by B-rent / 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm / United States / Work

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

by anonymous / 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm / Kids

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

by Tom / 03/10/2011 at 6:09am / Animals

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

by Less / 03/07/2011 at 2:39pm / Reserved / Health

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 12:18am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 6:43am / France (Alsace) / Love

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the bus, it hit a bump on the road and made me hit a elderly man. The bus driver thought I did it on purpose and made me get off. FML

by Parade / 02/28/2011 at 1:00am / United States (New York) / Transportation