About Baconman345 : I'm a pretty random guy sometimes...I love football(go niners and ravens) and hockey(woo-hoo sharks.
)
University of Texas
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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55239) - you deserved it (2365)
On 07/14/2009 at 9:39am - money - by SomeoneElse (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37788) - you deserved it (2910)
Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42361) - you deserved it (2786)
On 07/06/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by AidenFromSweden (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47623) - you deserved it (25844)
On 07/06/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by expen_dable (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35364) - you deserved it (19441)
On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59728) - you deserved it (2739)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55732) - you deserved it (9515)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49113) - you deserved it (6971)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60261) - you deserved it (5297)
On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101055) - you deserved it (6281)
On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6217) - you deserved it (87327)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72545) - you deserved it (10076)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you deserved it (61468)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19707) - you deserved it (85063)
On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my daughter finally walked down the aisle with a man she loves very much. While I was escorting her, I managed to trip and fall down revealing what I've been trying to hide all of this time: my shiny gleaming bald head that showed when my wig fell off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39134) - you deserved it (8320)
On 06/16/2009 at 6:49am - misc - by Unlucky (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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